Hi, book buddies. Friday again. Yay! :o) I'm happy to be hosting Ann M. Noser today as she has some very cool ideas about witchcraft and dating. Read on!
How to juggle witchcraft, murderous rivers and ghosts,
and still look good to date.
By Chrissy Peterson, Emma's much more fashionable roommate
First of all, I have a complaint against the author of this novel. As Emma's roommate, I should be in more scenes. But, no, I'm practically ignored. And it's because of me that everything happens. If I hadn't dragged Emma to an awesome party that night, she never would've even met Mike Carlson.
That's right. I'm the true reason everything happened. Without me, Emma would still be in our dorm room eating Pringles and reading some silly children's book about "Ann of the Green House", or some such title.
So remember that. And try to pay more attention to me. Everyone else does, so you should, too.
At least the author was smart enough to realize that, on the topics of beauty and dating, I was the best person to consult.
Now you have to understand that it took me a while to realize what was going on with Emma. It's not like she shares much with me. One time, when we still lived together, she seemed depressed. I thought somebody died or something. It took me three whole days to drag out of her that she got a "B" on a test. Why didn't she just say that in the first place? Emma is so weird sometimes. She has this "thing" about not talking about her grades to anyone.
Back to my list of helpful hints that Emma should obey to improve her life:
1) Beauty Sleep
The problem with Emma is that she doesn't respect the fact that a healthy person needs 6-8 hours of sleep a night. Sometimes she stays up way too late or gets up far too early to study. Then after Mike died, she had troubles with nightmares. I really think she should've gone into therapy for this. She might've avoided a lot of trouble that way. Sleep is very important, both to feel and look good. If Emma would've just taken a hot bath and some melatonin before bed, and talked to a counselor about her guilty conscience, then she would've gotten the sleep she needed. And proper rest is necessary before making important decisions. Everything went wrong simply because Emma didn't get enough sleep.
2) Dress for Success
If there's one thing Emma sucks at, it's dressing herself. She looks like an eighth grade boy with those cargo shorts and purple Converse tennis shoes. I mean, this is college. It's time to look pretty, wear a skirt now and then to show off your legs, and do something with your hair besides slinging it up in a ponytail. But she'll never listen to me. It's hopeless.
3) Explore New Hobbies
College is a wonderful place to explore new things, but, of course, Emma would choose something bizarre like witchcraft instead of the proper things like yoga, concert choir, or cheerleading. I don't know where she gets these ideas. Why would you choose an activity that you can't include on a resume someday? I just don't understand her at all.
4) There's No Such Thing as Ghosts
Emma must not watch enough TV, or something, but I've seen tons of very educational programs on this topic. Ghosts simply don't exist. Sometimes my sister, Angie, and I fight about this, because she says Grandma still talks to her¾which is ridiculous, because Grandma's been dead for years. But you have to understand that Angie is my kid sister, and still kind of immature. She's into that witchcraft stuff, too. Sometimes I tell her she should stop, but she never listens.
To be honest, I have one, tiny confession to admit¾I had her do a love spell for me once. But it was only that one time, I swear.
5) Go with the Flow
Another one of Emma's many problems is that she's too intense. She doesn't know how to relax. If she's so obsessed with the river, she should just take its lead and learn to "go with the flow". Why does she always have to fight everything? Why can't she just take it easy? I tried taking her to one of my yoga relaxation classes once, but she kept sighing through the whole thing like she was bored to death. Then, afterwards, instead of thanking me for expanding her horizons, all she could do was complain about the smell of everyone's feet. I give up.
Well, there you go. This is my list and if Emma would only listen to me, her life would be so much better.
And if you ever need a Life Coach, just give me a call.
I'm here to help.
How to Date Dead Guys by Ann Noser
Series: Under The Blood Moon
Genre: new-adult, urban-fantasy
Publisher: Curiosity Quills Press
Date of Publication: July 15th, 2014
Cover Reveal: June 2nd, 2014
Blog Tour: July 14 - 25th, excluding weekends
College sophomore Emma Roberts remembers her mother’s sage advice: “don’t sleep around, don’t burp in public, and don’t tell anyone you see ghosts”. But when charming Mike Carlson drowns in the campus river under her watch, Emma’s sheltered life shatters.Blamed for Mike’s death and haunted by nightmares, Emma turns to witchcraft and a mysterious Book of Shadows to bring him back. Under a Blood Moon, she lights candles, draws a pentacle on the campus bridge, and casts a spell. The invoked river rages up against her, but she escapes its fury. As she stumbles back to the dorm, a stranger drags himself from the water and follows her home. And he isn't the only one.Instead of raising Mike, Emma assists the others she stole back from the dead—a pre-med student who jumped off the bridge, a desperate victim determined to solve his own murder, and a frat boy Emma can’t stand…at first. More comfortable with the dead than the living, Emma delves deeper into the seductive Book of Shadows. Her powers grow, but witchcraft may not be enough to protect her against the vengeful river and the killers that feed it their victims.Inspired by the controversial Smiley Face Murders, HOW TO DATE DEAD GUYS will ignite the secret powers hidden deep within each of us.
How To Date Dead Guys Purchase Links:
About the author...
My to-do list dictates that I try to cram 48 hours of living into a day instead of the usual 24. I’ve chosen a life filled with animals. I train for marathons with my dog, then go to work as a small animal veterinarian, and finish the day by tripping over my pets as I attempt to convince my two unruly children that YES, it really IS time for bed. But I can’t wait until the house is quiet to write; I have to steal moments throughout the day. Ten minutes here, a half hour there, I live within my imagination.
Like all busy American mothers, I multi-task. I work out plot holes during runs. Instead of meditating, I type madly during yoga stretches. I find inspiration in everyday things: a beautiful smile, a heartbreaking song, or a newspaper article on a political theory. For example, a long drive in the dark listening to an NPR program on the SMILEY FACE MURDERS theory made me ask so many questions that I wrote HOW TO DATE DEAD GUYS to answer them to my satisfaction.
I’d love to have more time to write (and run, read, and sleep), but until I find Hermione Granger’s time turner, I will juggle real life with the half-written stories in my head. Main characters and plot lines intertwine in my cranium, and I need to let my writing weave the tales on paper so I can find out what happens next.
Good luck, book buddies, and have a great weekend!